Biography, Autobiography, Old Steve of Scarborough, North Yorkshire, United Kingdom

1. Working long hours, whilst on my quest forever more money, I still managed, at various times, to fit in quite a few hobbies and interests. I was, above all else, a fanatical DIY (Do it Yourself) enthusiast and I would tackle almost anything and would go to great lengths to find out about things and study different trades and skills in order to do it correctly and in everything that I did I tried, as much as possible, to involve my son who, I then believed, should have every opportunity to learn, practice and become involved in all the things I had missed out on as a child. Above all else, as a lonely person, I was determined that he should not end up the same way. Therefore I would spend every possible spare moment with him and try and work and plan round him and let him feel he was important and that there was someone interested in him and cared a great deal for him and that his needs and wants were very important. Although not all his 'material' wants, typical of any child, were fulfilled. Whether my efforts were successful or not you would have to ask him, but I tried in the only way I knew how. Don't think I pushed him, as I tried not to, but I tried to encourage him. When he was a youngster we kept Foreign Finches and had a massive model train layout, that was really mine, but he was allowed to 'look at' it and 'sometimes' operate the controls. Later he joined the Boys Brigade but that didn't last long as he was not too friendly with the lad who's father ran the local group and he claimed also that he didn't like always going to church and saying prayers. Since my marriage and service days I have not been a practising Churchgoer, although my wife has off and on, and my son was allowed to make his own choices. There was none of this, as there had been in my case, of being sent off to Sunday School just to be got rid of for a while. So from that he joined the local Scout Troop and although not being too armoured with the annual camp; he only tried it the once, he stayed with them until we left the area. During that time I got dragged into the parent and fundraising side of things and from there got bitten on fundraising for any cause that I thought worthy of my time and efforts. I supported that Scout Troop and for a period served as Chairman of their Management Committee and throughout the whole time made sure I distanced myself from the routine running of the group so as not to cramp my son. I am proud of the fact that whilst I was there a magnificent committee of enthusiastic and dedicated workers brought about and oversaw the demolition of the old wooden hut and in it's place the erection of a brick and timber Headquarters Building, twice the original size with a fully fitted kitchen, toilets, food bar, office and store rooms. I gave a lot of time to both the management and the practical side and all the local trades people involved and supporting the project were magnificent. I wonder if it is still there but more realistically it has probably long gone? Another interesting thing about that Scout Hut and nothing to do with scouting, is the fact that it stood on land adjacent to a garage compound, where Volkswagen cars were stored and where everyone remarked on how tightly packed they were and how often they stood, exposed to the elements, for anything up to two years before being pulled out and sold as new.

2. You must realise that not all the things I did, during this period, were all ongoing at the same time, although some of them were. For example I continued to engrave glass and that went on for many years and I joined an art club and over the years became quite an accomplished painter although the desire to become famous and make a lot of money out of it always seemed to elude me.

3. One of our greatest collective pleasures, during this period, was the acquisition of a thirty foot, static Caravan on a private site, just to the south of Hornsea, on the east coast of Yorkshire. In the cars, that we had in those days, a second hand powder blue, Morris Minor (£250 taxed and tested) followed later by a canary yellow Triumph Herald (£200, from one careful lady owner, who didn't like it and as a result had put less than 500 miles on the clock) we could make it to the coast, if the wind was with us and we all pedalled like mad, in about two hours. So we spent as much time there as we possibly could. My wife would drive me to work on the Friday morning, take the car home and load it up and then come back, with self and son, and pick me up from work and from where we would head directly for the coast. We would collect 'Fish and Chips' in Hornsea and by eight o'clock on the Friday evening we would be in a different world. A few pints in the local pub, long walks, a swim in the sea, a barbecue or what have you on the camp over the weekend and then up early Monday morning in time to drive back and arrive back in time to go straight into work. We all loved it and during the school holidays my wife and son would live there and I would commute at the weekends. My son made a lot of friends on the site and also invited his 'best pals', from home to go and stay with us. All in all a marvellous arrangement and a great social life on the camp. I did most of my painting there and met some great people.

4. At some time, also during this period, my wife had become involved in the local 'Cheshire Homes' and spent a lot of her spare time caring for the disabled and under-privileged. She also became involved in fairly large scale catering and this would prove to be a tremendous asset later on.

5. Still money grubbing, as always, I came up with a scheme, after being involved in a discussion, on the subject, with a local Pub Landlord, whereby we became Stock Takers. I developed some paperwork and obtained the necessary measuring equipment that facilitated my wife and I going into various local pubs, on closing time, at night, and while I measured, counted and called out the stock, my wife filled in the appropriate sheets. We then went home and she went to bed while I did the necessary calculations, on a slide rule in those days, and prepared the final stock sheet, which I would then deliver on my way to work the following morning. Hard work: but a nice little earner. I think it was from that, that my wife got bitten by the 'Pub Bug'. She started off by catering for them and we both did a bit of spare time bar work. From there we progressed to doing Holiday and Sick Relief, or my wife mainly did, as I still had a full time job, but somehow we fitted it all in. We even took over the running of a 'lock-up' pub for a period.

6. During and throughout the whole of this period, my mother had turned distinctly peculiar. We tried to maintain a relationship, mainly from our son's point of view because we felt he should have contact with his grandparents but it became increasingly difficult. If we visited she would move things, which she thought he may accidentally break, or even worse, touch and leave fingerprints and he was a quiet child and always did as he was told. Throughout my father would ignore us and carry on watching his television, which in those days was fairly new to the working classes. His only conversation, which was rare, was to talk over the current level of volume and tell you about some boring programme he had previously seen. To carry on the latest habits and stupid attitude, started at our wedding, where they both wore almost all black and he wore his flat cap, while they both sat at the back of the church, they refused to socialise, whenever invited to attend any of our social functions. They would either refuse to come or turn up late and then either not stay or fall out with someone or everyone. They refused to allow my eldest sister to be a 'Godparent' to my son, at his christening, because she had not been a Bridesmaid at our wedding. As for turning up late, a favourite was to turn up, well into the evening, unannounced and uninvited, at our house. That was to ensure that 'son' was out of the way in bed, so they didn't have to become involved, and then complain they never saw him and that we kept him away from them on purpose. On other occasions my father would come in while my mother sat in the car, at the end of the street, because of some previous, self-invented dispute. Then my father would have little to say, of any real value, or he would try and cause illfeeling, and he was good at that. Also he could guarantee to reduce my wife to tears, after he had gone, by running his fingers over the tops of doors and along ledges, looking for dust, or just prodding and turning things over with his walking stick.

7. I also had my share from my mother-in-law, but not quite as bad. We would visit and be given cold drinks and ice-cream from their, then, dairy business and later when we were about to leave, be told how much we owed and be expected to pay. At our wedding reception, which was in their home, she handed out a limited amount of drink, which granted she had paid for, before locking the remainder away for themselves later. I can't knock my mother-in-law too much because, in a funny sort of way, she was better to me than my own mother and she was a good 'Grandma' to my son. But she had her peculiarities and one which carried on until she died, was that it did not matter what we bought, a fridge, a cooker, a carpet, she would go out, about two to three weeks later and buy the same just so she could boast that hers was the newer. Bless her. She died of a brain tumour and during her final days I went to visit her in hospital where, during one of her lucid moments, she told me how she had never liked me and said some dreadful things. I put the hurt I felt down to the tumour but then they say the dying tell the truth?

8. When we moved house, from our original and first one, which my parents never approved of. What a terraced house and on the outskirts of the city of Bradford? How low can you get? To a much larger and better one, yet still on the outskirts of Bradford, there was an almighty slanging-match because they had not been consulted or had my father been allowed to survey it beforehand. What the hell he knew about surveying property, I don't know. I had at least had a few years in the building and allied trades and would have thought I had more idea than him. Anyhow this bone of contention would come up at every opportunity until they decided to sell up and move closer to my sisters, who would appreciate them and their wisdom and their interference. One sister, the closest to where they chose to live, quickly sold up and emigrated to Australia, where she has remained ever since. With no one, close by, to directly interfere with, they moved to Bridlington and bought a flat. That lasted until they persuaded my eldest sister to take their capital and with it build a 'granny' flat on the side of their house and for them to move into it. That didn't last and there was some sort of fall out and knowing my father that would be easy. From there they bought and moved into a small terraced house in Scarborough, where they decided they would give me the full benefit of their interference, because by this time we too were living and working in Scarborough. They lasted just so long before they had to be squared off and whist still living only a few hundred yards away, we didn't speak for a long time. Then I found out, from a neighbour enquiring, that they had sold up and emigrated to Australia. That lasted a month longer than it took them to get out there because, as I found out later, when all their furniture and belongings arrived, my brother in law turned them straight back round and told them to get on a plane and follow them. On their return they moved into, and are you ready for it, a small terraced house on the outskirts of Bradford. Oh how the mighty had fallen. From a time, some time before they left Scarborough, I never saw them again until my father came with his second wife, to my grandsons Christening, my mother having died, and then I had to distance myself for he was intent on having a go at me. When I heard my mother had died I couldn't cry and felt only a sense of relief and her only claim to fame, as far as I was concerned, was that she had, throughout her life, successfully screwed up and ruined all relationships and contacts between herself and the outside world and with it all contact and possible interaction between me and what might have been my extended family. For I had many aunts, uncles and cousins and often wonder what it would have been like to have been a part of that. When my father died I felt a tremendous feeling of freedom and think about him and talk about him with no feelings or emotions what so ever. Forgive me, but they are just not there.

But all this is now getting a little ahead of ourselves.

9. Please understand that much of what I did went in phases, otherwise you will think that I am either lying or exaggerating when I keep trotting out and relating, all the things I hade done up to this point in my life and all the things I went on to do later. But I did, fitting them all in, one way or another and that included coming home, from work, on occasions to an empty house when my wife and son were away at the caravan during school holidays etc. On one such day I arrived home later than usual. I was tired and could not be bothered to look for, or cook, food so I decided to watch television and then go to the Fish and Chip Shop. Telly was rubish, so what's new? I would go to the Pub, have a pint and then go to the Chip Shop. Well after 'time' I staggered to the Chip Shop and just made it before they closed. The following morning I woke to find myself slumped on the settee, in the lounge, with the telly on, no picture and background buzzing from static and fish and chips all over the floor in front of me. I stepped round them and went and showered and changed. I then attempted to clean up but running out of time decided to leave the final clean up to that tea time when I returned home. I made a cup of tea and leaving everything for later I went out of the back door and across the yard to the garage. The door was wide open and it was empty. Someone had stolen my car. I went back into the house and rang a colleague and scrounged a lift into work. My first job there was to ring the Police and report the theft. I gave them a description and registration number etc, like you have to, and said the last time I had seen it was when I parked it in the garage, the day before, at about seven in the evening and it was gone the following morning. 'Leave it with us, Sir,' was their response and so I had to. A couple of days later the phone rang, during the evening, and it was the Landlord of the Pub. All he wanted to know was how long I intended to leave my car on his car park? Apparently it was not causing a problem and could stay there as long as it took me to get it repaired, if that was the problem? I told him it was and I would do my best to sort it out. I dare not do anything, as I had reported it stolen, so I had no choice but to sit tight and wait. It took them five days to find it and that was probably only because the car park was alongside the main road (nowadays they wouldn't even go looking but policing in those days was much better) and when I went along, with them, to look at it, agreed the thief must have had a duplicate key and that all that appeared to be missing was petrol and what I thought was rather a lot of additional miles on the 'clock.' At least I didn't drive it while under the influence and it was a damned good job I didn't usually fill it up until the weekend before I set off for the coast and to visit the wife and family.

10. You may, or may not, have also gleaned that I have spent all my life in the pursuit of knowledge and learning. It always has been and still is, ongoing.

11. I realised, back in my teen years, that things were not exactly right. I could not put my finger on it, but there was always something that just did not quite ring true. We were odd. I was odd. We were not like other people. On the surface they always seemed to be happy and fairly content with their lot, whereas my parents continuously complained. Nothing was right. Nothing was fair. Everyone was wrong and out of step with us, who were right. Not knowing any different I can't say that I was unhappy all the time, but I somehow knew I was, in some way, different and that, above all else, I felt desperately lonely. I went nearly everywhere and did everything on my own. I was scared to get close to people because I knew that sooner or later my parents would become involved and that would be the end of that. So to avoid the pain I kept everyone at arms length and they sensed it and so it came back in reverse. I could join in if I wanted but often I would not be asked and so I spent long hours alone and not knowing any different, just did my own thing and accepted it. I lost many girl friends because they would take me home whilst I never dared take them to my home and they couldn't accept that and felt that I was ashamed of them or something.

FAVOURITES.