[OLD STEVE] [WORLD OF THE CONTENT] [THE RE-WRITTEN LIST] [LEVELS OF CONSCIOUSNESS] [THE THREE LEVELS]
CHAPTER 36.
The Unusual.
MY BIOGRAPHY.
1. Over the years and because we offered accommodation, we had many different groups of tradesmen, who all stayed with us, whilst they were working in the area. Following the Telephone Exchange fire, we had a group who stayed with us for months. Then we had others who would only stay for a day or two and among those were a group, who's job it was to go round all the stores, in the different towns, for a large Multinational Company and service all their overhead lighting. Naturally we would chat in the bar, during the evening, and I would find out what they did and where they had been etc. Now one particular pair, on one occasion, began looking round the bar and enquiring if I used Strip Lighting of a certain length. I said no and that the only lighting that I had was much smaller than that, and I referred to the size. They said what a shame, for had I used the bigger sizes they could have supplied me with as many as I was ever likely to use, as they were never called upon to account for the number they used or replaced, only that they did what was required, in each store, and that might mean changing or replacing several hundred. Anyhow the following evening they informed me that they might have one or two of the smaller ones, that they might sometimes need and used in storerooms etc, and would I be interested in them at fifty pence each. Retail, in those days, being about two pounds, fifty pence each. Naturally I said yes and they said OK. The following evening they called in to say, 'cheerio,' as they were moving on the following morning, and that they had left a few, boxed and brand new, tubes against the wall, in the rear yard, and to move them before someone else did and that I also owed them two-hundred and fifty pounds. When I challenged the amount they said no, the agreed price had been fifty pence each and they had dropped off five hundred. They were not pleased at having to load them all back up when I said that a few to me meant ten, twenty at the most.
2. Another group, in town to build a supermarket, didn't actually stay with us but brought us a lot of business following an initial visit to an Iron Mongers and Tool Shop opposite and thereafter calling in for a pint and a sandwich each time they came for supplies. From that more and more started coming in and spending the whole evening and food wise buying everything they could lay their hands on and it ended up with sandwiches and soup being prepared in advance and to order before their arrival. Shortly after, a large portable caravan was parked in our back yard, by agreement, and several of them, who used it as sleeping accommodation, then used our toilets and washing facilities, in the mornings, before setting out for work in their battered transport. They loved it and it solved a lot of their drink and drive problems. Their numbers increased but would fluctuate with others, off the site, coming and going and we did very well out of them all. When their contract was up they decided to have a party and towards this made all sorts of arrangements, with my wife, for food and what have you. They filled the back yard with waste timber, all cut to size so that it would fit and burn on our open fire, which they had so appreciated, all the time they had been with us, after being out in the cold all day, and said they would then be along the following day to collect their caravan and settle up for anything they owed us. For my part, all I had to do was order and ensure an adequate supply of a well-known, strong bottled beer and 'keep it coming.' They filled the place and split and formed groups to order their drinks and the rules, which they laid down for themselves, was that it should only be one type of bottled beer and that all empty bottles should be placed on every conceivable flat surface, capable of holding them, around the entire inner walls of the bar, and that they were not allowed to stop until they either fell down or could find no more places to put empty bottles. They literally got hundreds balanced round the walls and on the piano and on the TV and all the shelves round the walls, there specifically to rest glasses on. They balanced them all the way round the Pool Table and on top of the Gaming Machines, the Cigarette Machine and the Jukebox. Then they decided that as the Pool Table had a cover on it, they would fill in the central area. That took another few hundred and at the end and after not one moment of bother, they all shook hands and staggered out. Early the following morning and before we were up, they came to collect their caravan and somehow, later and for the next few days, it suddenly felt empty without them and my till certainly missed them, even at lunch times. Towards closing time, for the lunch time session, on the day of their early morning departure a note arrived, attached to one of those baskets of flowers, that you would normally associate with being deilivered to Film Stars dressing rooms, because of the sheer size of it, and the note simply said, 'We forgot to ask for our 'sarnies' (sandwiches) for today. The bottle boys, off to Liverpool.' To this day we still visit that Supermarket and often talk of the lads who built it and how they would come in the pub, often a bit grubby and change their Tee shirts for clean ones, that sported the company logo, from out of a large cardboard box, before handing out the rest and burning the discarded and dirty ones on our open fire. I think I still have some somewhere.
3. Weddings, Birthdays and even Christenings were fairly regular and routine occasions but of all of them one really stands out in my memory. A couple, who lived along the road and had known each other for all of a few weeks, decided to get married or she did and was very keen on the whole thing when drunk, while all he did was shrug, shake his head and say nothing. Anyhow she organised it and he put some currency notes on the bar and asked my wife if she would put on a few sandwiches for goodness knows how many, as he had no idea of how many would be coming as most of them, invited, didn't believe her. Anyhow on the day, he turned up in the bar, as usual, dressed in his anorak; trainers and tracksuit bottoms and proceeded to consume a large quantity of spirits. When it came to the allotted time he didn't seem unduly concerned that she had not turned up. Several minutes after the deadline, when they were due to be at the Registry Office, in she barged with a load of mates and some of her own children and all looked as if they had been recruited from the Adams Family, with many looking like female versions of Lurch. But there was no doubt she was centre stage in the pink shell suit and enormous, grey, knitted, wool beret. She had a bunch of flowers, still in the cellophane wrapping, which looked as if they had been in a cemetery for the past week. They all wanted to have a drink and despite being late and not caring less, had one before most were then reluctantly dragged off. Several stayed behind and didn't bother with the ceremony and I was amazed that the groom actually went. Not a half hour later they were back and alone, where all the other 'guests' had gone was not immediately apparent, but we did learn that it was into another pub and she wanted all the sandwiches and trimmings wrapping up so that they could be taken there. But the groom and all those who had stayed behind and had already started to eat, said no, and so one of their number was despatched to fetch the others. He never came back and she called him and all the rest, all the bastards under the sun and screamed at someone else to go fetch them. He came back to say that they had all left that pub and he didn't know where they were. She was for them all going to find them and the new husband got the bunch of flowers over his head when he said no. We then had spilt drink and flowers all over the floor, which was very quickly followed by more drink and food before the Marriage Certificate was torn into tiny pieces and thrown, by her, into the air. It floated down just like confetti and rounded off the ceremony, as far as she was concerned, as she stormed out and he stayed behind for the rest of the day and then, as his mates literally dragged him out, at closing time, as he certainly could not walk unaided, he grinned and said, 'I will have to try and think of something different to do tomorrow.' He came in the following day to tell us that he had gone back to 'his place' and had seen nothing of her and had we? Later we heard that she had spent the night with another boy friend.
4. My mother would have been proud of some of the Aristocracy that we met and the Society Weddings that we might not have actually attended, but for which we catered for and later cleaned up after.
